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Lauren's Intervention

Oct. 20th, 2005

11:50 pm - oooo wow

so like i went to moustache pete's there was this band that like showed up... one said he liked to call um "troublesome trio" but... his name is Mead he had a lute on his back and was playing the violin... two others named paul and michael each played uh guitar and uh.. BANJO!... OKAY SO I GOTTA ADMIT i don't remembaer which guy played which instrument but you gotta admit its preety impresive thT a i remember their names after not eating all day then eating 10 slices of pizza and drinking 7 pints o guinness.... but MAN they rocked so hard i had to HAD to now buy them each a beer... i of course made sure to give um my email addy and ask that they drop a line if they're playing anywhere.... apparently they wrote the song i love when one of um got like REALLY high and forced the other guys to play it all night! i told you these doodas are awesome eh?... they even played me out! on the way home they were jamming AT(as in to) the scientology church thingy and as i passed i yelled preach it to um BROTHA... those guys rule! they got me stompin my feet... i even whistled w/ the banjo player a little... then during my downhill i started to ride my bike like a skier, wavin my ass around, ziggin and zaggin taking up an entire car lane... eventually i fell these guys from VSA (i think it means vietnamese students association... gotta ask them doods bout a game of dim long haven't played in the longest time) anyway they asked if i was okay i layed there a few secounds... said yeah i think so.. they pointed out that my elbow was bleeding profusley i said "yup that'll teach me to get drunk and ride my bike like a skier... thanks for watching out for me guys!" ahhh my laptop is falling apart! the hinges on my screen are fucked' pieces of plastic keep falling well acyually breaking off... but yeah like bleeding REAL BADD i washed it off turns out in addition to the big gash in my elbow therer was a scrape down my arm from there that only LOOKed like a blood trail.

May. 21st, 2005

10:24 am - my 20th birthday

drinking
cake
wine
drinking
movies
friends

me go to toilet. me puke. me in control.

me go outside. me not in control.

me stumble into house, sit on chair. me green. beth: "yeah. i'm going to need you to drink some water. now."

me drink water. me open mouth. vomit comes out. this marks the first time ever that i yakked on myself. carly jun and ben disappear. beth and amanda get me naked, change my clothes.

more water. lying on floor.

projectile vomit.

they put me in the shower. they think i'll drown and take me out. more water. they put me in more clothes. put me in bed. i am cold. very cold. have a disproportionate number of blankets to the number of people staying here. vomit in trash can. pass out.

the end.

Current Mood: hungover
Current Music: passed out

May. 6th, 2005

04:17 pm - i've been a bad bad girl

kasey (2:30:26 PM): heh, thanks, you're one of a kind
tranceience (2:30:55 PM): that's not true
tranceience (2:30:59 PM): i'm just like everyone else
kasey (2:32:16 PM): uh-huh...
tranceience (2:32:39 PM): i am. i really believe this. i am completely unoriginal.
tranceience (2:32:54 PM): there is nothing one-of-a-kind about an offensive drunk
kasey (2:33:54 PM): hahaha
kasey (2:33:56 PM): maybe
kasey (2:34:00 PM): but you're a special kind of offensive drunk
kasey (2:34:07 PM): sure, anyone can get drunk, puke, and tell you why you suck
kasey (2:34:15 PM): but you do it with a certain style and wit that is hard to match

last night was cinco de mayo, celebrated at an open bar event. i'm putting my drink tally somewhere in the 10-15 range. There was this alum from 2002 or something there, and you know how we all have to match drinking prowess. I was pounding the vodka, and i drank more and faster as the close of the bar approached. i'm still not sure how i made it home, but i woke up in my clothes, with my shoes (heels) on, and my pants were unbuttoned and unzipped.

though i was making out with said alum during the evening, i woke up alone in my bed (thank god). things had gone too far when 1) i couldn't see his facial features. I had literally drank myself blind. 2)he began groping my breasts AT THE EVENT. that's just uncalled for. i kept pushing him away: "you're ruining my future political career!" but he could dance, at least. lindy.

there was some puking last night, and i'm pretty sure when i woke up i was still drunk. this hangover is a bitch but at least the booze was free.

and i'm going to quit drinking after finals guys, i promise.

Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley

Apr. 19th, 2005

05:26 pm - welcome home, alcohol.

that's right. you want to feel my bellybutton from the inside!!

ok so here's the thing about DC. i may not drink in such large quantity three nights a week, but i drink in a more moderate quantity every night. i mean literally. i drink every day now. at least two drinks, though its pretty common to have four or more on any given weekday.

drinking in the real world is so much more necessary.

anyway, so here are my two drinking stories.

1) the other night we were playing trivial persuit and it was late as fuck and this fool knocks on the door. and we're like "who the fuck?" thinking maybe brent really did make the trek out to my apt in the "boonies." so i answer the door and there is nobody there. then i realize that the motherfucker is like... against the wall. and so i'm like, can i help you, son? and he's like "ya'll were making noise" and i'm like "yeah... do you want us to be quiet?" and he's like "no" and i realize this asshole has been crying. and further questioning reveals that he lives on the second floor (not the fourth like us) and has gone in search of people to hang out with.

so i invite him in. and offer him a beer. cuz, who the hell would i be if i left someone who was lonely enough to follow noise at least two floors up for someone to hang out with and has been crying, on my front doorstep. and asshole, that's who i'd be. just your average east coast asshole.


2) annapolis last weekend. woke up and hit the bottle. cuz the trip is basically obligatory, and what the hell do you do in annapolis besides drink or sail (not mutually exclusive, i might add). and kept drinking. and swear the program director saw me swigging the flask in the bathroom of the statehouse. oh yes. we'll see if she says anything in class today. eek. but passing out on the dock was cool. apparently last spring break didn't teach me shit about alcohol, water and sun.

as the semester winds down, i expect to be tanked at any given moment. i intend to show my liver who's boss, and start training the poor bastard for "life in latin america" as i like to call it.

now bitches, and i'm really looking at you, brian, ya'll need to keep me posted on the party crawls.

and guys, i promise, i'm going to sober up when i get back to texas. i just need to finish what i've got. you know i love you.

Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: The Plan - Built to Spill

Jul. 29th, 2004

08:48 pm - my stummy the last night of summer school:

enter GIN: swills fruit juice in corner
enter WINE: Ciao. sits alone brooding in corner
enter GRAND MARNIER: WHEEEEEEEE! goes around doing a jig for WINE and GIN
enter CORONA: AYAYYAYAYAYAYA ese! shoots guns in the air
enter JEIGERMIESTER: ZEIG HEIL!
CORONA: aw hell no, everybody out!
everyone attempts to exit via the lower door
WINE: NO! the way you came in....


the end.

i'm gonna stop drinking when i stop being around people. promise.

Current Music: Summerbreeze - Emilianna Torinni

Jul. 22nd, 2004

01:09 am

dude,

i graded some papers for a prof here in exchange for some grey goose, and we locked ourselves in the soundproof music room.

and we got fucked up.

and we had a food fight.

and i busted cheif's eye open with a coke bottle. damn i feel bad about that.

Jul. 20th, 2004

05:37 pm

rob and i have created the best thing ever. ever.

1776-pack

which is actually like a 12 pack.

and 1776.

yeah.

also, to fill you in on some other details. the weekend of brian. got really fucked up. brian should post the info on that. its funnier from him.

since CT.. been fucked up alot. even got fucked up with my boss and the professors. you got the right one baby, uh huh.

guys, i'm totally gonna stop drinking when i get back to school.

Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
Current Music: A Better Son/Daughter - Rilo Kiley

Jun. 10th, 2004

11:05 pm

wow, cuz my girls just came over and we all had a bottle of wine a piece and shot the shit. we are the shit. go alcoholism. they are the real alkies, i pale in their shadows. i love them.

May. 20th, 2004

11:08 am - HAPPY BIRTHDAY

now stand on the chair so we can sing the song, dammit... oh shit there is no chair in here... well happy birthday anyway :)

Current Mood: happyhappy

May. 15th, 2004

12:09 pm

so freshman year went out in a blaze of drunken glory.

even had some people hop off the wagon.


15 bottles of wine later....


GO PAN SEXUAL TONGUE INCLUSIVE SPIN THE BOTTLE TOURNAMENT!

it was awesome brian.

Current Music: What if God Was One of Us - Joan Osborne

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